Baffling BFFLS

As you grow up, you consistently hear about how you only need a few tight knit friends who prove to be bread and butter. Throughout college you learn the validity of this statement. You show up the first day freshman year eager to become besties with the rest of the noobs running around the dorm rooms, swap life stories with your new roomie (praying they aren’t one of the nightmare roommates, and either stick with the dorm crew all four years or move on when you move out. The years roll by and you weed out those who don’t necessarily make the “quality” cut. Your schedules load up and you prioritize those who actually boost your wellbeing rather than suck the energy out of you (amuse yourself: Energy Vampires. Harsh? Nah. We all know it’s true. Danes do too.

Danes cut to the chase and frown upon small talk. This particular social preference places them on a pedestal. AND they cherish their quality friendships over the random acquaintance (generalizing, of course). Granted, Danish pregnant women spend time with “mommie” groups to ease the drastic life adjustment of having a child. If your best friend for life just happens to be in the nursery next door you’re set. I admire this governmental socialization tactic.

Senior year rolls by and you keep in touch with the friends who really made a mark on your soul. You know the type. You smile automatically when you see pictures together, jump when you receive an e-mail or a text, and just may hit a natural high after a Skype session. Yes, my friends and family from home, you are not at all forgotten over the deep blue sea! I’ve been cherishing the brief moments we’ve shared together and look forward to reuniting with you before I know it!

DIS buds – we’ve had our heart to hearts and those bonding moments aren’t over J Cheers to another day in Copenhagen!

Rude Awakenings: The Truth behind Studying Abroad

To start, listen to “Jazz for your Mind” by Salvo Larusso. Muy bueno.

Everyone who has previously studied abroad claims it was the best experience of their lives. In truth, the negative experiences are often suppressed or forgotten when they return home. Humans always seek the greener grass on the other side. When we are in the USA we want to be abroad. When we are abroad, sometimes we want to be in the USA.

Here’s the deal. A place, truly, is just a place. An experience is only a worthy and engaging experience when you apply meaning and value. Due to hedonic adaptation, the stimulation from exploring a new location fades over time because of repetitive exposure. Yes. I am psychology nerd analyzing the study abroad phenomenon since I’m immersed in it…

A thought I’ve been sucking the end of my pen caps over lately: you are the same person in one location as you are in another. Or ARE you? Three semesters ago I was inspired to write my doctoral thesis on the notion of exploring oneself by exploring the world (obnoxious planning may be a norm on my end). Of course, how could I write such an individualistic thesis without living it out first? My findings thus far and excuse for why I haven’t posted anything for the past two weeks (forewarning this is a reflective post and not intended to flaunt my ego… or id… in any way, shape, or form):

MIZZOU’s study abroad office warned us, waiting anxiously in anticipation, that there seems to be a common trend among students abroad. A natural high occurs the first 2-3 weeks because the constant stimuli fascinates you and you believe wherever you are is SO MUCH BETTER than home (let’s face it, with American politics nowadays…). Then you chill out a bit and warm up to the foreign country. About 1-2 months after studying abroad a number of students become depressed or homesick or both. I tried to blame the lack of sunshine, but this phenomena proved to be a crude reality for the girl who studied abroad to deepen her understanding of positive psychology. Situational irony, I know.

I’m not going to sugar coat studying abroad. Venturing through Greece last year was, undoubtedly, a life changing experience. Copenhagen is and shall influence my life as well. Nevertheless, every step taken influences the next no matter where you are. The purpose of this reflection is not to tell prospective study abroad-ers they shouldn’t pursue academia in another country. They should. Studying abroad facilitates personal growth if you engage in the experience. However, I’m not one to place it on a pedestal either. Students need a realistic viewpoint.

I thought it was homesickness. I thought it was the lack of vitamin D (Denmark is not exactly sunny in with a high of 75 like St. Louis right now). I thought it was the suppressed frustration behind constantly drinking hard water from the tap that STILL doesn’t make me feel cleansed after downing 8 glasses a day. I thought it was the financial stress (Copenhagen is pricey, people). It wasn’t. I’ve studied resilience. I preach resilience. I firmly BELIEVE resilience can be taught, made a cognitive behavioral habit and lead people towards a flourishing lifestyle by overcoming adversities. WHY on earth was I shutting down?

The big factors I expected to suffocate my personal well-being were not actually triggering my reactions. Hitting real life in the face by applying for “big kid” jobs and setting up Skype interviews for the real world caused intense anxiety. Asking for recommendation letters via e-mail simply isn’t my style. I’m a face-to-face kind of girl. Gotta roll with the punches, I know. Yet, worrying about whether or not my internet connection will pull through during these interviews still flirts with my conscious thoughts. To be fair, that’s not a surprising stressor for anyone my age. Senior year overseas problems. Oops.

The true cause for the shut down, however, was being thrown off the daily routine which laid a foundation for handling stressors and accomplishing one thing after another. Don’t get me wrong, friends and family I do legitimately miss you all. (Here’s where I rant a bit in a “woe is me” fashion). Last semester I lived the luxurious life of having my own room. I used to be able to roll out of bed early in the morning and not feel guilty waking up 3 roommates in the process. I used to enjoy a tune from my wake up playlist as an alarm clock as I stumbled around half awake to get my Asics on and stuff a banana down my throat on the way to 8am Advanced Cycling at MIZZOU’s rec center (ohhhh how I miss those stationary bikes). I used to come home and take my time getting ready, trolling around in my towel wrap and primping not because I’m a girl, but because it felt good. People don’t pamper themselves enough in our rat race society. Not in healthy ways, at least. Take a breather. Enjoy Stonyfield vanilla Greek yogurt with flax seed and honey in the morning with your coffee (that actually includes coffee mate creamer). Make yourself a mozzarella, egg, and fresh basil sandwich for breakfast. You’re lucky if you can find these ingredients at your local Netto, let alone spend less than $30 on those breakfast items.


This routine kept me grounded. Introverts thrive off the ability to stop, reflect, and think deeply about the whirlwind of occurances happening around them. In an flat full of 7 women, an opportunity for reflection does not happen very often. We've all been feeling the subtle pressures from living in such a cohesive environment. Alas, I encourage you all to take time for yourself on a frequent basis. Reflect on what you've learned about yourself over the years and escape from reality's distractions ever now and the. Ground yourself within your thoughts and you'll strengthen who you are.

Deprivation from these little blessings will make them that much sweeter when I return home.

Now that I’ve settled into that mindset and realized why my psyche hasn’t been functioning up to par lately, all is well. I can embrace the moments I have, once again, without believing something is truly wrong with me. Funny how reframing concepts to an external perspective brings inner peace. Good thing the University of Pennsylvania’s Resiliency Program is teaching students these life skills to enhance their well-being.

If you’re interested: Resilience Program

It’s all water under the bridge. More fun posts to come on the Scotland experience :D

PS: This TED talk inspired my epiphany. SO good! Power of Introverts

St. Pat’s the Danish Way

Who would’ve thought the Danes would celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day? I mean let’s face it. The Danes take on any excuse to drink heavily. It’s surprising, truly, for the happiest of people to binge drink as often as they do. Scotland made sense with their high suicide and depression rates, but REALLY? No matter. Even if they lack Irish blood (I’ll admit, I don’t own a drop to my knowledge), everybody’s Irish on St. Patrick’s Day!

The Danes set up a 3-legged race pub crawl in the center of Copenhagen from one Irish Bar to the next. The race consisted of a 3 km course where contestants would down a half pint of beer at each Irish pub before the finish line… IF they made it to the finish line! It was incredibly entertaining to watch drunkards stumbling along the cobblestone streets lost and confused with their upside-down maps!

Instead of galloping all over Copenhagen with duct tape around my leg, I joined my housemates in

Rådhuspladsen Square. We received free Guinness hats with some Irish coffee, meandered around with face painted lollies, listened to Irish bands, watched steppers perform on stage, and giggled at people mistaking the old man dressed as St. Pat for the pope. Let’s just say the Danes are not predominately Catholic, to say the least. Better yet, my Carly and Stephanie were dubbed banner carrying lassies and were thrown into the parade at last minute!

We met a sweet American girl who has lived in Copenhagen for the last 7 years with her family. Her dad works for the American embassy. She’s 18 and heading back to the states for university next year. She used to perform as an Irish stepper but opted to leave the dancing to her younger sisters this year. We also stalked massive Irish hounds (honestly, they looked like miniature ponies) despite the Danes’ hatred for petting their pups.

England’s domination of Ireland’s rugby team completely swamped the Irish bars this evening!  I was bummed because the crowds meant no leek potato soup would be served L Instead, a group of us enjoyed nachos, pasta pesto, and a grilled chicken sandwich at Hoppe’s. I still miss splitting a McDonald’s Shamrock Shake mixed with chocolate with my mom, though. All in all – a good day for the not so Irish!

Deflating Empowerment? I Think Not.

I woke up at Alex’s host family’s home thirsting to grasp life in my fingertips this morning. So what do I do? Run around her scenic neighborhood again. There’s nothing like starting off your day inhaling the fresh Scandinavian air and soothing out travel stressors in a hot shower!

Alex shared the Kony 2012 video with Sim and I after this viral social movement reached her laptop this morning. We watched the video together, tears welled in my eyes, and I felt deeply empowered by the efforts. Jason Russell, you’ve made quite the video. Like all humans, I too want to make something of my life by giving back to the community. Yes, a young woman in her mid twenties still embraces hope she can make a difference in the world. Influential mentors like my cross-cultural professor at University of Missouri, Etti Navah-Benjamin, have only fed those thirsts for meaning and purpose in this world using international connectivity. Hence why I’m studying the effects of meaning in positive psychology… but that isn’t today’s focus.

In a nutshell, the Kony 2012 movement aims to publicize Joseph Kony and raise awareness of his war crimes. He kidnapped Ugandan children for sex slaves and soldiers. Kony revamped an existing rebel group back in 1987 and renamed it the Lord’s Resistance Army which has abducted over 30,000 children over the 26 years. Invisible Children aspires for his arrest. Their method is to globalize Kony’s infamous name from a sociological perspective – the power of internet communication.

Educate yourself: Kony 2012

I’ve been familiar with Invisible Children over the years but I’m sad to admit my personal proactivity on current cultural affairs only dawned during college. Inspired by my emotional response to this provocative PSA I began researching a bit more about the movement. Particularly, I’ve been researching the criticism all morning. As Mashable stated in the “Kony 2012: Is the Viral Campain a Scam?” article:

“Invisible Children has been condemned time and time again. As a registered not-for-profit, its finances are public. Last year, the organization spent $8,676,614. Only 32% went to direct services (page 6), with much of the rest going to staff salaries, travel and transport, and film production. This is far from ideal, and Charity Navigator rates their accountability 2/4 stars because they haven’t had their finances externally audited. But it goes way deeper than that.”

The term slacktivism has risen in response to Kony 2012 as well, referencing a “feel-good” method of supporting a cause without personally acting towards a movement’s aims. Rather, “slackers” show support through internet petitions and social media to feel better about themselves since they aren’t the ones venturing to Uganda. Is this really humanity stands in 2012? Well then.

Here’s where I’m at: unification towards a movement creates a sense of purpose and enlightenment among the human race. Empathy and connectivity reign true by giving those a voice who stand in harms way thanks to Kony as a flees. A couple of regular guys went to Africa one day, explored what life has been like for those in Uganda, and truly OWNED their calling be spreading the truth.

 The funding issue is inevitable. In today’s day and age, people don’t even raise their noses from their technical devices when asked for donations unless there is a blatant grab factor to catch their attention. Why? We’re desensitized. We’re all wrapped up in “me” scenarios and blind to recognizing opportunities to truly help others in need. I do believe this movement has potential. Even with negative feedback in addition to positive support, the Kony epidemic has become known and he’s on the run just like Osama Bin Laden. Osama was captured years after he became infamous, but media brought value to the end of not knowing who he would terrorize next. Humanity’s response to his capture? Relief set in for a brief moment knowing one less person will try to massacre the innocent. Fear is daunting and relentless. The power of unified purpose just may be able to overcome such fear.

I admire the movement because it stands for SOMETHING WORTH looking into. Yes, it’s a political and social debate. At the end of the day, imagine standing in the shoes of one of those children abducted and being threatened until you murder your own family members. Would you not go to worlds end to stop that? Russell is merely honing his sources to reach stubborn minds of modern day. Invisible Children remains honest. They are an open book clarifying the criticism they receive. The cause is real. The choice to support is your own. I encourage you to educate yourself on what happens to the rest of humanity while you continue your day to day life.

Bonding through Nostalgia

A week of traveling around Scotland MAY have resulted in culture shock returning to Copenhagen. I’ll admit it, being able to read the ingredients on the back of shampoo bottles in supermarkets that stayed open until midnight was a luxury. So was walking up to people for directions and snickering over Scottish slurs full of “wee bits” and “bampots” (idiots)! Back to forking out 70 DKK for beer instead of the favorable of 2£. Oh, the land of whiskey and kilts, I shall miss thee!

What better way to combat the blasted homesickness than staying in an actual home? Luckily, my dear friend Alex was left alone for a week while her host family is off on vacation. We kept her company for two nights exchanging stories of home and showing pictures of friends, families, and universities back in the States. Three young ladies in their 20s enjoying a day in their pjs? Fits of giggles ensued.

Dedicated to a “well-being weekend,” I ran around her Nordic wood neighborhood while passing scenic horse pastures. Practicing chi qong near a pond proved to be the ideal breather after leaping over horse droppings during the run. We belted out to 90’s tunes while cooking Italian style broccoli stir fry in the wok and Danish apple fritters for dessert. Of course, Alex, Sim and I snuck in One Fine Day with Belgian hot cocoa before snoozing under fluffy comforters. Comfort to the max in candlelight = ideal girls weekend in Denmark!

Perks to studying abroad: diverse friends with fascinating backgrounds. Over dinner, Sim informed us of the Sikh religion and attempted to teach us Punjabi. Alex and I agreed it’s a much easier language compared to Danish! “Sat Sri Akaal” is their core greeting to each other and she described what a day at temple is like. Alex and I gave Sim the load down on a typical Sunday Catholic mass. Apparently all women take up the last name of Kaur and all men own the last name Singh. She keeps a blade under her mattress at home for protection with God symbols engraved on the sheath. Sim also explained her bracelet is called a kara, which all Sikhs wear as a sign of unification.

As for Alex, we learned she despises the color orange above all things. I do believe April Fools day is looming around the corner…

I’ll reveal the details about Scottish ghost tours, bag piping lessons, and my morning at J.K. Rowling’s café next time! 

Outsourcing Opinionated Americans

This morning I embarked on my first DIS Ambassador experience discussing American lifestyle to 8^th grade Danes at the Tinderhoj School. Six other DIS students and I followed Anders Larsen onto the S-Tog (train) like mice trailing the Pied Piper. Tangent: The Pied Piper storyline references WWII Nazis drawing in children to their regime. Interesting stuff!

Tinderhoj School is apparently the 2^nd to lowest nationally ranked school in Denmark, although I wouldn’t have known at first glance. Hand painted murals covered the walls and the teacher’s lounge was absolutely massive! They offered complementary fruit, coffee, and tea – quite nice for an early morning!

One other DIS student and I entered an 8^th grade classroom not knowing what to expect. Although the students were ages 14 and 15 (which I enjoyed since my little brother fits that snarky, angst-filled category), these Danes looked at least 17 or 18 based physical appearance. Danes’ dress in a homogenous fashion and the teenage girls could pass for 20 year-old women. They were all dead silent with pokerfaced stares. In all honesty, I wasn’t intimidated at all. I could see how they may have been hesitant to speak up since they don’t practice English all the time, so I was determined to make the experience more fun for them. I asked them what hobbies and interests they had to find commonalities. Danes and Americans are more similar then most would think!

These Danish teens hit some impressively BIG issues:

• If you were president, what would you change and why?
• How do you feel about American troops in the Middle East?
• What is the gang culture like?
• How does religion
• Do you like American government?
• How has the EU economic crisis affected America?
• Why is gay marriage not legal in the United States? How do you feel about it?
• To clarify, gay marriage has been legal in the Danish national church since last year. Before that, there were homosexual unions outside the church and receive a blessing.
• How do we feel about Muslims since September 11^th?
• Danes have a major racism issue against Muslims. Their political propaganda for the last election communicated messages such as “Keep Denmark Danish” etc.
• How popular is English football (soccer)? (I enjoyed this question as a St. Louisian)
• What’s cool in America? (My response… Would you prefer hipster or LA pop crazed? HA!)
• What do you do in your spare time?

Overall, the experience was really fun and engaging! We advised them to take advantage of the free Danish education system since student debt creates so much stress in America. We also asked them how they liked learning English. They really do! They feel the English language is completely globalized – not true but it certainly made me wish I was multilingual. 

Set in a Situation: Danish Humor

The most meaningful aspect of DIS is their emphasis on immersing students into the Danish culture. Our house meets “immersion meetings” with our Danish social residence advisor, Nicoline. She’s a Psychology student Kobenhaven University so we’ve bonded quite a bit. During these meetings we share our recent excursions imposing on the Danish lifestyle (jaywalking, traveling in American groups, etc.… how to piss of a Dane – see below), and this time she popped in a Danish film called Sorte Kugler [Black Balls].

This film reflects, dead on, why I enjoy hanging out with Danes – they prefer situational and sarcastic humor Better yet, this movie had a moral storyline which made left you pondering about how you live your own life. The director, Anders Matthesen, is apparently a very famous comedian and played the main role in the film. His character, Alex Klein, is a bitter and stressed middle aged real estate agent who seems too wrapped up in his professional setbacks to be grateful for his blessings. So of course, karma smacks him aside the head and he dies in a car accident. Alex ends up in a purgatory game show where he earns white balls for the good deeds he carried out in his life and black balls for sinful acts. Heavy representation of post-life judgment? Yes. However, frequent references to balls and witnessing awkward events in his life adds comedic relief. Certainly worth checking out because the ending hits you hard. Embrace your life and laugh all the way through J